2 AM and she calls me ’cause I’m still awake,
“Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don’t love him. Winter just wasn’t my season”
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. Breath… just Breath…
It’s all I have to say today.
Today I feel so stupid. I don’t know why, I just do… I feel like a stupid kid who is happy for every little shit. I can’t understand why cause I never felt in this way before. I used to but not lately.
I wanna smoke and I wanna drink something but I’m not gonna do all this stuffs. I’m not so weak; even if I’m nervous in this moment.
You know… Sometimes all of us need to tell to someone stupid things.. and after that would regret all that stuffs.
I feel ordinary; miserable; like all the people I have seen around me.
I woke up today and I knew, like always, that this day would be like the others, but something was different. I felt changed ’cause I realized how important it’s the fact that we can breathe. Ok maybe not so poethic but something like this. You know … when you speak with somebody and for a moment, for only one moment you know that you are important for a person… you know the feeling, I think all of us know those things.
I’m totally a bad person, I know it but also I know I could change. I’m a bad person ’cause I don’t know to appreciate my friends like they really are, I’m a bad person ’cause sometimes I can’t accept a person the way she/he is. I’m a bad person ’cause I am human and I make mistakes but I love my mistakes, I love doing this ’cause this is the only way to become better. I’m a bad person for hurting all the person I love without know it and I’m a bad person for pushing away all the person I love. Yea…
I suck sometimes, maybe all the times, but I’m fine with this. Sometimes is difficult being around me and sometimes so easy. Sometimes you can understand me but also sometimes you can’t. Sometimes I don’t appreciate the way I am, the fact that I’m still alive, colors of life. I don’t appreciate that I’m still breathing, walking, crying and laughting. Sometimes I feel so hight and sometimes to low.
Finally, I woke up in the morning so tired and sick of all the things around me. I walked to school with so many problems in my head, so many plans and so afraid of losing all the things I have. This is a permanent feeling ’cause I’m always afraid of life, yeah, I’m afraid of so many things ’cause I’m a teenager and I don’t know if it is normal or not, but I’m fine with this.
For one moment I wanted to be so idiot, so stupid…so me. For one moment I felt like me and for one moment was so good.
Don’t get me wrong, I love life, I really do but sometimes is such a bitch. From now I’ll be just me, with my plans, my problems, my stupid moments, sad moments and comic moments. I will be just me or least I’ll try.
